Chill..

whooo whooo whooo.. chill pals.. haa.. as u all noe i wun scold anyone unless i'm reali pissed.. well tt person who usin my name is jux someone who dun feel love ba..
Thank to Wife, Samuel, Didi n Dar.. haa.. i missed u guys too.. ur tags will be replied in my blog posts to not make u guys misunderstood abt the tags tt's been up recently..
still.. i'm down.. i still feel the sadness in me.. i spoke to me Supervisor today.. she shared some of her thoughts wif me.. still i choose the person i wanna be wif.. so.. i'll be alright for the time being till everything turns better.. i hope ther wun be any influence in my job.. haa..
i'm feelin sick suddenly.. stomach upset i guess.. made me feel lik pukin.. haix.. my fever went down abit dis mornin.. nw i feelin sick again.. guess is cox the food i ate during dinner..
well.. Chill pals.. dun get so work up cox of the 'Fake Jan'.. i did ban the IP.. but stil the person gt ways to tag again which i dunno how.. haix.. i wish he's here for me at the hard time i'm goin thru..

Love Him Forever

TagBox

due to some ppl who lik to pose as me in my own tag box, i would lik to inform all my pals who read my blog.. i wun be replying any tags from dis day dis time, 30th March 2009 11.00pm, till those ppl stop disturbin my tagbox.. i'll reply all tags in my blog posts.. in dis way my pals wun be confused wif the 'fake Jan' tt's always replyin in my tagbox.. unless otherwise, u guys can msn me for instant replies.. my tagbox will not be remove..

Love Him Forever

Retreat

staff retreat today.. finally gt chance to rest.. went to the Wake of Mary's Husband.. we felt glad for him cox he went peacefully without pain in his sleep.. is a good sign cox it will be worst if he struggled in pain before leaving.. Rest In Peace..
regarding my tagbox.. i realized ppl lik to use others names or my own name to tag n darken other ppl.. maybe is jux cox they gt nth much to do.. but all the words they left in the tag dun harm me anymore.. maybe is cox i had no more feelings left.. the one who use my name.. i shld said.. thanks for usin ur time at tt late hour wen i'm asleep to tag to dunno who.. but still i will apperciate if u will use ur own name instead.. y wanna pose as other ppl??
Yes.. i still love my baby.. thou he left me here alone.. wat done had been done.. i cant do anythin to change the result.. i do hope he'll come back n stay by me forever.. but will he?? it's all his decision.. i wun wanna force things tt's nt mine to be mine.. Forcing wun bring any happiness..
i'm thankful for my pals who prayed for me n those accompany by my side.. Let everything goes it's way will be the better choice.. If he will to come back to me.. i'll be glad..

Love Him Forever

Hard Times

life been hard on me nw.. i dunno how to say.. Samuel told me to trash everything in my blog.. so i'm gonna do it nw..
i lose my most beloved.. he had choose to left me alone wen i have the courage to went thru everything wif him regardless of anything.. it hurts me most wen he decided to let go of everything.. i wish i have someone to cry out to.. but due to my strong hold back.. i put everything in my heart n keep it deep inside.. i tried to stop remembering all the future i had planned wif him.. cox tt onli reminds me tt he had let go of my hands.. wat is future to me nw without him? it's totally empty.. my brain is as empty as the hollow shell.. my heart sunk to the bottom of the world.. thou i have frenx who comfort me.. but i understand tt's nt wat i want.. i onli wan him back by my side.. i tot i could cry out loud wen Dar met me ytd.. but endin i hold back again.. tellin how i do feel abt my beloved.. she give me the conclusion of.. i still love him.. n is unreplaceable love.. i nv expect she will say tt to me.. n it hit right into my heart hard.. i always tot i could let go of him easily.. but wen she hit me at the spot i reali went wordless.. i dunno wat to continue to her wen i realized how much he mean to me.. he's the one i love..
Dar told me tt dun ever let anyone come into me at dis point of time.. n i had her trust in me i will never let anyone come in unless is him.. cox my stubbon self is tellin me.. i cant forget everything wif him till i go on to the other world..
Ytd wen a ball slapped pass my cheek.. i tot i could cry.. but as tears filled my eyes, ppl start crowding ard me askin my cheek.. n my tears stopped.. even wen Dar chatted over the phone before i met her.. i nearly burst out in the public.. n my fear of meetin her in the late night oso came.. cox i dun wanna let her c my tears.. she told me, he said ther's problem between us.. i cant think of anythin cox we seldom sit down tgt n have a nice chat.. everytime i c him he's always so tired tt hurts me to extend his tiredness by chattin wif me.. so i always avoid makin him tired by lettin him rest more even if he is free to meet me.. it hurts me hard..
i understand we both need time for our frenz.. but as long as we can flexible wif all the time we have everything sure will turn out fine.. but i dun understand y cant he went thru dis tgt instead of lettin go my hands at this moment..
Life is fragile.. My Superviser Mary, her Husband passed away dis early morning.. it showed to me how life goes easily wif the last breath.. it made me even more upset cox losing one's partner is losing half of their life.. i havin the same feelin nw.. i lost mine too.. n half my life is taken away.. i fear of hurtin myself.. cox accident do happens wen it occurs to me not long ago.. i tot if i jux dozed off to slep while in the car will make me leave every heartaches behind.. but it hurts me more to have everyone cryin over the death.. Dar told me nt to hurt myself.. i tried.. i try to be stronger but it seems so hard.. i'm sorry for makin anyone worry over my stuffs.. thanks for being ther..
i hoped from the bottom of my heart, he'll turn back wen i'm walkin too slow behind n hold my hand again without letting go of me.. i love him truly from the bottom of my heart..

Sadness took me wen he took the pic

Love Him Forever

Down

i'm too down to actually remember to post any new post.. had a few pics but reali nt in the mood to post oso.. still i'll do my job of updating some recent issues..
i dunno who i can talk to abt my life nw.. cox i'll totally down.. in pieces maybe.. i dunno how to accept all the facts tt's happening the past week.. everything start changing.. thou i noe myself too well.. stil i dunno who i can cry to anymore.. to my frenx i'm a strong one in holdin back all my feelings.. but wen i wanna start cryin he's nt ther anymore.. y cant life be more easier for me? i hate myself for being so weak in some stuffs.. i jux dun understand..
nw is early in the mornin.. i reali wish he's here for me.. at least to peace my mind.. cox i onli need him to be wif me.. i dun understand anymore.. my mind is blank.. eyes red.. moodless.. heart sink.. words stuck at my mouth.. i wish he's back here by my side..
if i'm such a dear to him.. he wun think of lettin go.. it's nt the time issue wen i can accept everything abt him..
i hope he understand how i feel n be wif me..

Love Him Till Very End

Holiday

i guess i wun be uploading the pics n video here.. cox is way too mani.. so if wanna view jux beta go FB ba.. cox most of the pics is ther.. haa.. is too troublesome wen Blogger onli gib u 5 slots to upload.. n super waste time..
Loves my Pals for those who view my pics always.. haa..
(Ah Fatt, Porky n Didi)

i'm too stress to do alot of stuffs.. so pardon me if i nv reply much on any of u.. =)

Loves Forever

ANGER !!!

yes.. i'm back to blog.. because i'm too angry to go slep at dis time.. n i gt no mood to upload any pics or video.. plus tml i need to attend service.. damm.. nw i nt gonna care who ever read my blog.. who cares wat u all think.. i onli care abt myself.. the one n onli me..
i forever wun be able to understand.. y wen i'm seriously treatin someone the best i can be the person always make extra trouble.. cant the person jux keep the person's own hands n stop makin me more n more pissed with all the wrongdoings? dun the person ever bother? i'm seriously pissed this time round unless ther's an explaination.. I DUN CARE !!! i had enuff of all the rubbish.. n someone is gonna clean up the mess EXCEPT ME !!! it made me reali wonder.. does the person reali have my thought?? or is the person tryin to do all kinda things jux to hurt me?? m i so bad tt dun fit to stand with the person?? if i'm reali tt bad y nt the person jux tel me at the face instead of doin things tt will hurt my feelings? i'm a human too.. nw i dun even noe i shld cry or dun bother abt it.. I HATE THIS FEELING I HAVING NOW!!!

ANGER MADE ME HATE EVERYONE

* i guess someone noe who the person is liao

Smiles

finally half the week passed.. super tiring recently.. so is quite tiring to come home n blog again.. thou in theirholiday i have alot of pics to upload.. but guess have to wait till i nt so tired ba.. cox the uploadin n choosin pics reali take quite some time.. wen i need alot of sleep.. haaa.. guess i'll upload everything once the week ended.. cox i rmb some of my pals lik viewing my pics instead of my words.. =P i din forget u guys.. haa..
hmm.. recently been smsing Mr Jon.. heard he's gettin his TP tml.. haa.. wish him all the best.. cox i reali wanna have frenx that drive n we can all go out in bigger groups.. lol.. cox their side had both Angel n me as the driver le.. Jon is next !! yeah !!!
Baby been quite busy recently.. so i din sms him much oso.. till he come sms me.. n we came down wif a deal of.. him sms me wen he reali feel free.. anyway i dun reali mind.. cox i oso busy..
hmm.. workin life been torturing.. cox my kids dunno y love stickin ard me.. but their hugs n smiles brighten up my day.. hee.. tml swimmin day.. some kids been buggin me to go into the water wif them.. so can have more fun.. lol.. but i guess i'll c the situation.. hee..
wen i gt more time den upload the pics.. Tired le.. time to turn in le.. Yawnz..

Love My Airborne Baby

Wendy's 22nd

snail outta nowhere

her hse view

emo jessica

but we stil managed to get her

Happy Gal

she's abit off wen no one want to take pic wif her

my new lover

He's n Her's

The Seah Family

celebrated Wendy's 22nd at her place.. BBQ.. after my excursion wif the kids.. is my own fun time wif me frenz.. she totally changed alot.. haa.. but stil the chatty gal.. n of cox she finally gt her special one oso.. hee.. 4 yrs time leh.. we're expecting..

Happy 22nd Birthday Wendy !!

Love Him

Yakult

wat it actually contain??

listenin to the lecture

our new Yakult Reception

SSC Water Play

Noelle

Bertrand

Tristan

Perry

Wei Chian

my lovelies

excursion to Yakult factory for The Lodge.. extra knowledge on hw the production goes.. excited n fun.. n went to SSC for water play.. thou the rain n no water splashing.. stil the kids had lotsa fun.. they reali noe hw to enjoy even wif simply stuffs.. after the outing is back to Lodge n my time to enjoy wif my ladies to Wendy's bday party.. =)

Love My Lodge Kids

Love Him Always

Gai Gai

Jess, Angel, Jan
(few weeks ago de outing)

my gal's drawing wen she's K2

For Adults n Kids

the 'i dun reali recommend' store in Tesco

went JB wif mum n dad n have some shoppin done.. is fun being out wif them cox can eat alot of super nice food.. n they reali noe wat is great food.. but too bad we went to a 'down' fastfood restaurant in Tesco n i dun reali lik the fish in ther.. due to some reason.. so i onli had the fries.. haaa.. stil.. is a great day for me being out wif them.. thanks God i spare the time wisely..

Love Him To The Max

Lovely

The Body Chain..
(to be continue..)

n it gets longer..

n longer..

seems lik they're praying to the phone..
but is actually lookin at the timer..
cox they're told to freeze till the time's up..

wen they found out..

a super tiring day for me.. maybe cox wake up too early.. but is actually the same time.. most prob is due to the outdoor swimmin session.. wen all the kids jux love cuddling ard me in the water lik i'm a heater.. -.-
had lotsa fun wif them in swimmin.. wen we jump from1 pool to another.. lol.. n we enjoyed alot..
today is their 1st day of 'No School Work Day'.. n everyone jux stay in the hall n played the whole day.. onli part of them doin their work.. while we watched Jimmy Neutron.. the disc i choose.. lol.. they had no choice but to watched.. even thou they watched serveral times.. still everyone enjoyed the movie.. wif all the 'wah..' , 'eh..' , 'omg..'... they whole room is filled wif their astonishing voices.. haa.. after the movie is swimmin time.. yeah...
today is a day filled wif fun n homeworkless.. lol.. love their cheerful voices.. they're wonderful kids..

Love My Lodge Kids

Love My Airborne Baby

Settled

Muackx Muackx get for me de sushi fantasy

my brand new n unique pencil case

recently had nt been updating much cox sick n too tired after returnin from Lodge.. the kids made me mad.. lol.. nw i understand hw my teacher felt wen we keep findin trouble.. but still, my kids is well disciplined.. so ther's not much nonsense from them.. even the most mischievous oso become more n more disciplined.. thank God for the grace He gave both my kids n me.. hee..
It's been days since i last smsed Dearest.. guess he's jux too busy le ba.. anyway weekend's comin.. so i have nt much worries abt it.. i learned to loosen my string for him.. stickin tgt too much oso nt good for the relationship..
well.. i oso gt my own things to be worry abt.. one of it is sch holiday is next week.. n i can cmf ther's sure alot of trouble comin up.. cox both my sessions kids will be tgt for the whole week n we teachers will have a hard time.. but thank God i have at least 4 brilliant leaders in my kids.. n i'm sure they can help me out alot..
today met up wif Dar n had dinner tgt at NP.. cox tt's the nearest place between us.. n tt toopid ML put our aeroplane.. *angry* chat non stop lik we nv seen each others for ages.. lol.. but oso a gd time to catch up.. thou burned a hole in my pocket wen i've reali tighten my belt.. but it's all worth.. cox the next meetup will have to be next week.. n i'm so afraid i'll be super tired to meet anyone.. sobx.. still.. i'm glad we met today.. Loves..

I'm looking forward to this holiday i'll be spending wif my kids..

You Are Always On My Heart

Updates (6 March 2009)

my top stars
one of the siblings

Crystal the Bday Gal

My Star, Joelle

Twister Gang

updates on last week's outdoor swimming n indoor games.. havin Crystal's bday at the same day.. n she was treated lik a totally princess.. haa.. the super cute n nice lady who will always run ard waitin to have some fun wif me..

Hearts My Lodge Kids
Love Airborne Baby

Take A Break

i wonder when can ppl take a break on finding faults wif others.. esp wen they tryin to act smart or intelligent.. so wat if they r? stil human right?? they stil cant think further den those who went thru more den them.. some lik to act childish.. tt's ur business.. i cant be bothered wif it.. i alrdy have my own problems to settle.. i can say.. if so free.. y nt go work out on other stuffs den to come judging others.. i wonder hw can they survive in future.. i'm nt sayin i'm veri good in anythin.. but i can say i'm jux being myself.. wat i lik to say n do is my own business.. even if it will cause my reputation.. as long as i'm being myself, i'm satisfied.. so DUN COME JUDGE ME.. U're NOT THE ONE WHO IS CAPABLE OF DOIN THAT TO ME AT UR AGE.. continue to be ur noob n mind ur own business..
if u're so concern abt other ppl.. y nt start wif ur own 1st? think back had u done anythin wrong in past few weeks tt made someone upset??
eg. work tt's distributed to u, attitude problem, way of treatin ppl (RESPECT).
or is ur thorny mouth been findin fault wif others tt made them dislike u??

PS. feel guilty if u had done anythin bad to me before.. but if u nv.. y fear?? NOOB!!

He's My Lover

Recovered

i had finally recovered from my fever.. now is slight flu n cough.. pray they faster go away.. cox i dun wanna pass the germs to my kids.. their health is 10 times weaker den us adult..
hmm.. today din get to meet Jess cox she decided to postpone the date to next month.. cox we both reali cant make it.. plus Dar n Mich oso busy wif their own stuff.. so i stayed home n waited for Dearest to contact me for the meet up.. but i din receive anythin from him till late noon.. he choose to watch movie at somewher near the both of us.. AMK Hub.. watched Role Model. we met quite late n missed 1st few mins of the show cox we get the tickets quite late.. haix.. but still.. it's a nice comedy of friendship n love.. some of the parts quite funny la.. but is least of my expect.. still i rate it 3 stars on 5..
after movie.. dinner time arrived.. n we decided to head back to Dearest hse nearby for dinner.. we din reali eat much cox stil quite full.. so had light meal on mac n headed back to his hse n help him pack his stuffs.. stayed at his place n watched tome raider on chn 5 till Ang Papa n Ang Mama came back n sent Dearest to camp..
end the day quite normal.. but i felt something's missin between me n Dearest.. we seem to lost all our words wen we c each other.. ther's alot of stuffs we need to sort out.. but nothing seem to be comin out.. in conclusion.. me n Dearest start to become lack of communication.. so wen he come back next week.. i'm gonna drag him n make him talk to me more.. i dun wan our honeymoon to end so easily.. angry ~~

I Thanks ALL my pals who MSN n SMS me askin abt my condition..
Hereby Tellin ALL, I'M BACK ON TRACK NOW !! YEAH !!!

Love My Airborne Baby

Updates (28 Feb 2009)

the newly wed

table 17

Part 1(blur) dunno whose cam so clear..

the lovely wed

my mentor n her love of life

N380 supporters

we can be cranky too.. =D

latest update on the pics for our precious leader, Angel n Edward's wedding.. their lovely wedding at The Legend made everyone of us lookin forward to our next leader's wedding.. tt inclusive of our other leaders oso.. haa.. esp You Know Who.. =D everyone's wondering who will be his special lady.. hee..
Now our Angel is far away at Europe for her honeymoon.. may God bless her a safe trip n return soon.. cox everyone wanna noe the details of how she spent it.. lol.. yeah.. lookin forward to her return..